Archive for October, 2009
It’s How You Ask in Your Home Business Online Opportunity
I think it is safe to say none of us likes taking orders. The reason many people look to the Internet to research a genuine home business online opportunity is that they are tired of taking orders. They aspire to be their own boss where they feel they will never be subjected to having to take orders again.
Orders, no matter why they are given, usually arouse resentment. And while the order may be carried out, thus giving an immediate result, the long term result is undoubtedly resentment and anger.
It is really a way of ‘putting someone in their place’, ‘showing them who is boss’. This is not a good means of becoming an effective leader of a home business online opportunity. It will alienate others and cause them to avoid you rather than seek to be in your company.
Is there an alternative to giving orders? Yes definitely. Dale Carnegie, in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, advises giving suggestions and inviting comments and suggestions from others as a means of getting people to do as you want them to.
Using this method as opposed to orders has many advantages. It gives a person a feeling of importance as they are seen to arrive at the conclusion themselves. Thus their pride is kept intact. Cooperation is a far more likely outcome than rebellion.
It also gets the other person into the habit of thinking things through and eventually sorting things out themselves without any intervention, thus freeing up your time for more important matters.
Orders create lazy robotic minds. There is no reason for thinking. The ‘boss’ does the thinking and issues the orders. The others just follow the orders. A sure recipe for the creation of sheep!!!
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Let Others Learn From Your Mistakes in Your Home Business Online Opportunity
We all make mistakes!
I know I have made plenty along the way and I will probably make a few more before I depart, but hopefully not as many or as stupid as when I was younger!
We all know that we should learn from our mistakes, but it is equally important to allow others to learn from them.
Knowing that you started from similar beginnings, allows others to feel that they too can achieve the success you have. If you never admit to mistakes, they may feel a failure, and that they will never have what it takes to be a success.
If you have to draw attention to someone’s mistake, start out by admitting to having made mistakes yourself. You are showing that you are not perfect either. This makes it far easier for them to listen to the criticism.
It also shows them that the situation is not futile. You succeeded in your home business online opportunity after making mistakes, so can they.
My son is not a very good hand writer. I explained to him that neither was I when I was his age but that I was glad in the end that I listened to my teachers who advised me to be more careful as it was very important that my hand writing was good when I came to do my exams.
I didn’t give out to him and say ‘you have to practice’. I empathised with him and used my own example to show him how important it was to improve.
Like all children he looks up to and admires me, (he is still at an age where he wants to follow in my footsteps), thus my story was a very powerful message for him.
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Criticise Without Losing Friends in Your Home Business Online Opportunity
Continuing on from my last article I want to speak again about choosing your words carefully in your dealings with others.
Very often, just re-arranging the words we use can dramatically change their impact on others.
In Dale Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends and influence People, he advises that “changing one three letter word can often spell the difference between failure and success in changing people without giving offence or arousing resentment.
In my last article I spoke about how to approach giving constructive criticism, i.e. start by giving sincere praise and honest appreciation. This approach however is often ruined by following it with the word ‘but’.
Think of how much better it would sound if followed by the word ‘and’ instead of ‘but’. Following words of praise by the word ‘but’, conveys a lack of sincerity in the praise, rendering it useless. The hearer will more than likely see it as just a lead in to the criticism.
Following it by the word ‘and’ gives the opportunity for the criticism to be seen as a genuine attempt at giving advice aimed at improvement, rather that criticism for its own sake.
What you are doing is bringing to their attention the behaviour you want amended, without inferring failure on their part.
How many times has someone praised you only to follow it by ‘but’? Your heart sinks. You know the feeling when you hear – ‘that was good, but. ‘But’ is like a signal letting you know that there is something bad coming.
To become an effective leader in a home business online opportunity, you need to make that change. Use ‘and’ instead of ‘but’. It will be the difference between effective leadership and having no-one to lead!
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How to Criticise Without Alienating in Your Home Business Online Opportunity
I have said in an earlier blog that one should never criticise others when working our home business online opportunity.
It is true that we should not criticise, but what happens when somebody actually does something that is not in the best interest of our home business online opportunity? Are we not allowed to criticise them?
Well the answer is that it is ok to bring something to someone’s attention, but it is the manner in which it is done that is important.
Before you say anything, think of the reason you have for saying it. Is it to destroy the confidence and spirit of the other person? No, it is merely to point out to them that there is something they could be doing differently or better.
So you have to be careful when confronting the person, and confronting is a bad word to use in this circumstance as it evokes the idea that it involves a certain amount of aggression, which is what you want to avoid.
Instead concentrate on using constructive criticism. Give the person enough positives to ensure their dignity remains intact even after they have heard what it is you need them to correct.
The object is to retain the person as a friend/ally/partner but also to get them to change the behaviour that is upsetting to your plans.
To use an Irish phrase, you have to ‘butter them up’, before you actually mention that which is upsetting you. Or in the words of Dale Carnegie in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, you should ‘begin with praise and honest appreciation’
In many of my previous articles and videos I have spoken about the need not to rush things. Wanting to do things quickly and get them over with will not yield good results. The same applies here. If we do not take the time to approach others with care for their feelings and find the correct words, we will lose them.
Nothing can be gained from a crushed spirit. Choose your words carefully. Remember, once spoken, they cannot be taken back.
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When All Else Fails in Your Internet Marketing Promotion, Try This
Have you ever had times in your home business online opportunity that you just felt like you were banging your head against a brick wall, running and running, exhausted and getting nowhere?
We all have had those moments. We have tried everything and nothing seems to click. The major temptation is to give up and say we have failed.
Well when all else fails, don’t give up, try this:
According to Dale Carnegie in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, the best way of appealing to people of spirit is to throw down a challenge. This evokes a response from those with a desire to excel, i.e. those people whom you want to attract to your home business online opportunity.
If people do not have the desire to excel and are not motivated by a challenge then you probably do not want to target them in your Internet marketing promotion anyway.
Creating a challenge in your Internet marketing promotion attracts the very people you are looking for to join you in your home business online opportunity.
Everyone has a desire to excel at something, and targeting that desire will enable us to challenge them to achieve that desire.
I very often use a challenge when dealing with my children. If I am in a hurry going somewhere, there is a ‘race’ to see who can get dressed first, or who can ‘beat the timer’. There does not even have to be a prize. The thrill of ‘winning’ is enough.
At night, whoever has their toys tidied up first gets to choose the story that is read to them.
As we get older we retain that desire to win, to be first. It is a desire that manifests itself very early in childhood. No matter how much I try to tell my children that ‘as long as they enjoy the game, it does not matter who wins or loses’, they are still upset if they don’t win and will do all in their power to be first at all times.
My six year old plays hurling (an Irish game). I always ask him if he has had a good time. The response I get always depends on if his team won or lost the game. My efforts to change his mind on this have to date failed. I now think that it is better that he keeps his competitive streak as it will be an invaluable trait later in life.
When times are tough, set yourself a challenge. Get rich schemes and promises of easy money do not set us any challenge. That’s why they are ultimately doomed to fail. For information on a genuinely amazing home business online opportunity that will challenge, but in return will handsomely reward all those who rise to the challenge please fill in the form below.Video
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TV Does It, Why Don’t You in Your Internet Marketing Promotion?
We are in an age of dramatisation. Merely stating a fact is not enough, it has to be made, vivid, interesting and dramatic.
There are so many home business online opportunities out there now that we need to our message stand out from the crowd if we want to attract attention to it.
This does not mean mis-representing the facts; it merely means making them sound interesting.
For instance when I worked as an accountant, there was no point in telling someone about the state of their affairs or suggesting improvements. They couldn’t grasp the concept just by telling them about it.
I learnt instead to use tables, graphs, colours, power point presentations, all of which brought the figures to life, enabling a much better understanding than by telling alone.
Just this morning my four year old wanted to wear a summer dress. Now this is Ireland, and November has come early, cold, wet and windy. But there was no telling her. So in the middle of a particularly bad shower I took her to the back door to see for herself. I haven’t heard the dress mentioned since. She went off to get something more suited to the weather.
Think of Christmas window displays. Some are so good that they become attractions in themselves. Would it be the same if they just put a sign outside saying ‘Christmas gifts available inside’? I think we all know the answer to that.
Remember, if you want to attract interest, don’t just write your ideas, make them colourful, paint a picture of what you want to say. Make your Internet marketing promotion colourful and interesting.
A picture paints a thousand words
Seeing something is far more convincing than just hearing about it. As the old saying goes
actions speak louder than words
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Appeal to Nobler Motives in Your Internet Marketing Promotion
A good idea when trying to get people to do what you want in your home business online opportunity is to appeal to their nobler motives.
Most people, even criminals have a high regard for themselves and have standards which they see themselves as living up to.
We have all heard of the expression, ‘honour among thieves’, showing that even they see themselves as having high standards. They don’t see the other things they do as being of any great consequence.
You may have heard of their ‘moral code’ whereby women and children being hurt in any way was of very low standards indeed.
We can see from this that no matter what we may think of others, everyone has what they consider to be nobler standards.
Appealing to what others consider to be their high standards, in your Internet marketing promotion, is far more likely to gain you the response you are hoping for.
My daughter who has just started school is very slow to get ready in the mornings. My constant telling her to hurry has no effect. However I happened to notice that she hates being late for the ‘line’. This is where each class has queue up in an orderly line before going into school.
Now I just ask her if she wants to be on time for the ‘line’. She drops everything and gets ready straight away!
Another twist on the same concept is giving the other person a reputation to live up to while looking for your desired result.
A transport company I used to work for had a certain way of asking drivers to do difficult runs. For instance if something had to be at its destination in a short space of time or if weather conditions were bad. They would always call the person aside and say, ‘I am asking you as I know you are the only driver here that can do this’
The result was that they always got the best effort from the driver. The driver wanted to live up to his ‘reputation’.
As a parent I often read books and articles on parenting. Many of them caution against labelling a child. No matter how naughty a child may be, do not label him/her bold. They will more than likely try to live up to that reputation. Rather catch a child when he/she is doing something good. Use the opportunity to tell them they are good. This gives them a much better reputation to live up to.
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A Magic Phrase in Internet Marketing Promotion
In his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie offers us a “magic phrase that would stop arguments, eliminate ill feeling, create goodwill and make the other person listen attentively”.
Sounds too good to be true? Could such a phrase really exist, and if it did, could you imagine how helpful it would be for your Home Business Online Opportunity?
The phrase is “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do”.
This one phrase immediately shows that you are looking at it from their point of view. It stops them in their tracks straight away as they no longer have a reason to continue arguing. You have created an area of agreement and most people will follow the direction of agreement.
When you encounter a miserable, argumentative person, remember they are a product of the environment they have lived in since they were born. They may not have been as lucky as you to have been born in to a family and community that valued and supported them.
Remember then not to argue but put yourself in their shoes and show sympathy for them. Most people we meet are looking for sympathy. Give it to them and you are well on your way to winning them over.
If you are presenting someone with something you know may not be agreeable, start off by letting them see that you have taken account of their viewpoint.
For example, if you know that the person considers him/herself to have a very busy schedule, start off by mentioning that. Apologise for the fact that this may take up some of their time. Then let them know how time spent now will actually save them time in the future.
You have shown them that you have bothered to listen to their issues on time and that you have come up with a solution to their issue. If something does not solve some issue that the other person has, there is no point in trying to convince them they should have it.
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Wonder Formula for your Internet Marketing Promotion
How do we react in an argument when we feel strongly that we are right and others are wrong? Well the usual reaction for most of us is to plough on arguing our point until we can prove ourselves right.
But can we ever really prove to others that we are right and they are wrong?
I don’t think we can, because even if the other person backs down they still think deep inside that they were right and you were wrong.
You may feel you have achieved a victory, but what have you really gained from the situation? Goodwill, friendship, a productive partnership? Not very likely.
You will have gained an adversary who is of no advantage whatever to you whether it be in life or with your home business online opportunity.
What would a wise man do in a situation of conflict? Wise people take the time to understand the opposing pur oint of view.
Try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Ask yourself why they are reacting as they are. Would you probably have the same reaction if you were in their situation?
Not only will this make you more sympathetic to their point of view, but you will have also gained an invaluable insight into his/her actions and what it is that drives that person.
This information is of course of immense value to you when creating your Internet Marketing Promotion.
Think of the great peace makers of our time. Do they achieve peace by forcing their views on one side or the other? No peace is usually achieved by long months of sitting around a table listening to the opposing points of view. Force only succeeds in extending the conflict even further.
We all have so much going on in our own lives that we have very little interest in the issues and concerns of others.
Remember then that others have little or maybe even no interest in your issues. So the way to influencing them is not by talking about what interests you but rather by showing that you are very interested in their point of view.
Getting co-operation is easiest when you show that you consider their ideas to be of equal importance to your own.
Please fill in the form below for exclusive access to my amazing home business online opportunity where you will have full support for whatever type of Internet Marketing Promotion you are most suited to.
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Who’s Idea Anyway? – Home Business Online Opportunity
We all have someone we go to for advice when things are not going well for us. My baby minder was one such person for me. When my children were very small she gave me a great piece of advice for a happy marriage.
Instead of getting into arguments with your partner, make your decisions, and then make it look like it was your partner’s decision in the first place. That way you have got your own way, but your partner is happy also as he/she is convinced that they had thought of it all by themselves.
None of us like to have decisions or opinions are forced upon us. It is therefore far better to let other figure things out for themselves
The same applies when seeking partners for your home business online opportunity. Remember people enjoy buying, not having something sold to them. There is the important distinction.
When they are buying, they are fulfilling an idea that they like to think was their own, selling to them is like forcing them to have something they never wanted.
The hardest thing for us humans is putting aside our egos. We want not only to be right all the time, but to be seen to be right, so we compete with others as to whose idea ended up being the correct one.
Why? Shouldn’t we be happy to have got the result we had aimed for? Does it really matter if someone else takes the credit for it?
The major input which has to be made in dealing with others is time. If we do not take the time to let others come to the conclusion themselves, rushing them by trying to force our view on them, then we will not get the result we are hoping for.
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